I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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