You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize