He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize