I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
