k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
