I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
