If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
