I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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