I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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