don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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