i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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