I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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