i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
