conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
