he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
