Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
