She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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