I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
