Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
