I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
