I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
