Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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