I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize