he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
