Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
