how can u be prego again
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
