Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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