This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
