I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
