OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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