I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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