There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
