do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
