sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
