can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize