ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
