you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
