Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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