I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
