Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
are you so shy because you have an std?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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