I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
