Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
