Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
