I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
