I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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