Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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