3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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