I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
nutella sex= disaster
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
