My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
