Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize