I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize