Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize