So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
