wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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