they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
