I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
