he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
