Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
third nipple confirmed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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