There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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