:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
