I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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