I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
