They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize