final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
