Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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