if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
