The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
