You work out of a Hotel?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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